Roast Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What does the ghost like on his roast beef?

grave-y gravy

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Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

Why did the green bean go to jail?

He was disturbing the peas.

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?

MIKE: We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

How do ghosts like their chicken cooked?

Terri-fried!

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

What's it called when you poke a Scantron to make it laugh?

A test tickle.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaaah ?

About 3 inches

What's the difference between a Brit and an American?

The Brit got kicked out and the American did the kicking.

Beef Jokes More Beef Jokes

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.