Roast Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted. :3

Why is the peanut crying?

Because he couldn't handle his roast

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

What did Santa say when he had to travel through the desert?

My chestnuts are roasting"

What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

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Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What's a hippies favourite food?

Peas, man.

What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal?

Peas and hominy

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What did the turkey say to the goat?

The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble. The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.

How can you tell if a turkey is from Germany?

By the way it Goebbels

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

What do you do after you but a new oven?

Invite all of your friends over and have an oven warming party.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do you get hanging from Apple trees?

Sore arms.

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?

A pineapple !

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a convertable?

I keep one in my garage and one in my closet. Edit:typo.

Whats the difference between the government and a stripper?

Strippers don't rig their polls.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in english. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

Why did the mermaid wear sea shells?

Cause she was too big for B- shells! (my 6 year old niece likes to tell this joke)

Roast Chicken Jokes More Roast Chicken Jokes

What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb?

If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner.

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup