Stalker Jokes

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?"

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What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

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Hunter Jokes More Hunter Jokes

What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

What do seal hunters and teens have in common?

They both love clubbin'

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital?

Because the stock broker!

Why'd the cookie go to the hospital?

It was feeling a little crumby.

Vest Jokes More Vest Jokes

What's the difference between an apple?

A bike because a vest has no sleeves.

Why did the rapper die after being shot?

He forgot 2pac his bullet proof vest

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

How do you know if a redditor gave money to Bernie Sanders?

Just wait 5 minutes. They'll post about it.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why do birds live in nests?

Because they can't afford houses in this economy.

How many ants does it take to rent a house?

Doesn't matter, ants can't rent a house

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

Dave Grohl Jokes More Dave Grohl Jokes

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his hoagie off a bridge?

There goes my Hero.

What did Dave Grohl say when he dropped his Greek sandwich?

There goes my gyro

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

What asks no question but demands an answer?

A doorbell or a ringing telephone.

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...