Vest Jokes

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?"

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What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

Your under a vest

Why did the rapper die after being shot?

He forgot 2pac his bullet proof vest

What did the police officer say to his stomach?

I've got you under a vest.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call an aligator that likes to wear vests when no one else is around?

A private investigator.

What's the difference between an apple?

A bike because a vest has no sleeves.

Why did the alligator wear a vest?

He was an investigator!

What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator!

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What does Putin say during his new years speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?

It was an emergent sea.

Why didn't the art thief get away?

Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

Who survives?

America.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They glow in the dark.

What do you call the fourth musketeer if he's gone to the dark side?

Darth-tagnan

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between reddit and a fish?

fish are cool

What's the difference between a pig and a dwarf janitor?

One is messy, and the other is a little cleaner.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

What did the police officer say to Tom Brady during a routine traffic stop?

Your tires are low.

What do you call a police officer that shoots black people?

A police officer in America.

Reptile Jokes More Reptile Jokes

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

Why doesn't god like bacon?

Because he isn't real.