Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

a segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?

Reptiles !

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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CORNY JOKES!!!

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Ba-dum-tss

Why is the letter 'c' afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are not c's. *** *ba dum tss*

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Why do asian parents give their children short names?

More time on tests.

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

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How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

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Why can't woman drive?

Because there are no roads from the bedroom to the kitchen!!

How do lesbians keep things interesting in the bedroom?

They think outside the box.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does an emo cow make?

Amumu

Why do sovereign citizens never turn on the lights?

The sound of electricity triggers their PTSD.

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What do you call a black man with a MD?

A doctor you racist.

Why did the house go to the doctor?

It was having window panes.

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What is it called when you get sick from gaming on the internet?

YouTuberculosis.

Why will you never see a stag on the internet?

They like to stay anony-moose