Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Moses do when he wants a beer?

He brews!

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What has 2 wings and a halo?

Did you say angel WRONG! Its a chinese phone. *Wing Wing* "Halo "

What do you call 2 algebraists who marry?

Prime mates

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

How the does man give his dead batteries away?

Free of charge, of course.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why were the police at the day care?

Because some of the two-year-olds were resisting a rest.

Which fairy tale character would be most likely to be shot by the police?

An un-armed gingerbread man

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition?

Ah yes wax would go well with this cake and you know what else Child spit.

What would Kim Jong Un call his children?

His young'uns

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do all the ladies love Jesus?

spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this.

Why did the lonely man work on his days off?

X-post /r/dadjokes) He loved the company.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How do you find the PC user in the coffee shop?

Follow the power cord.

Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?

Feyonc

Why did the psych ward escapee never get married?

He had a fear of commitment

Well Job Jokes More Well Job Jokes

How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.

Why do the poles shift?

to find better jobs