Hunter Jokes

What do seal hunters and teens have in common?

They both love clubbin'

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Why did the hunter scold his blonde wife after she shot a moose over quota?

Cause when he asked her why she shot it, she replied: "I asked it what it was before I shot. But that cow wasn't gonna fool me!"

Why do hunters close one eye when they aim?

Because they can't see if they close both.

What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?

Camenbert

What's the difference between a hunter and a stalker?

ANSWER: The hunter has to wait until it's in season!

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?

A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

Why do hunters close one eye before shooting?

Because if they close the other, they can't see!

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!

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Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.

Why do Mexican and Muslim jokes all sound the same?

Cause if you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal. Ba da Tissssssss

Cave Jokes More Cave Jokes

How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves

What do caves have?

Echosystems. From my 9 year-old.

Moose Jokes More Moose Jokes

What do you call a moose with no name?

Anonymoose

What gun do you use to hunt a moose?

A moosecut!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Why was the first computer never invited to dinner?

It would just take a few bytes then run.

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did John Lennon get shot?

because Mark Chapman was a terrible shot, and kept missing Yoko.

Why didn't the police shoot the polarbear who was wandering peacefully around the streets?

Because he was white.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What are we going to do when we see it?

she asks. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there."

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

Profession Jokes More Profession Jokes

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

Whats better than winning silver at the paralympics?

Not being a cripple.