Taxi Driver Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

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Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other?

They already know everything.

Who drives away all his customers ?

A taxi driver.

What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common?

They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud

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Protest Jokes More Protest Jokes

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

Programmer Jokes More Programmer Jokes

Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why did the witch get a car with manual transmission?

Because she prefers to drive stick!

Why do women only use putters while playing golf?

Because women can't drive.

Violate Jokes More Violate Jokes

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

How do you say hello to a femnist?

You don't. To do so would violate her wish to not be part of the society she lives in.

Uber Jokes More Uber Jokes

What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car?

The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car Uber!

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Portuguese Jokes More Portuguese Jokes

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What kind of house does cheese like to live in?

A cottage"

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-nile...