Taxi Jokes

How does a german get to the airport?

He heils a taxi!

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Why don't taxi drivers talk to each other?

They already know everything.

How do you get to Carnegie Hall?

take a taxi

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home?

A taxi

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

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Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?

By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Uber Jokes More Uber Jokes

What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car?

The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car Uber!

Darth Vaders Jokes More Darth Vaders Jokes

Whats Darth Vaders favorite alchohol?

Darth Jaeger

Whats Darth Vaders corrupt brothers name?

Taxi Vader

Earn Jokes More Earn Jokes

How does a fencer earn their karma?

Ripostes.

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the similarity between a match and a black person?

You have to strike them against a rough surface to get them to work.

Why don't black people like tylenol?

Because its white and it works.

Summon Jokes More Summon Jokes

How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.

How do you summon a wizard taxi?

CABRACADABRA!

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What is yellow and can't swim?

An excavator. And why? Because it only got one arm.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

Violate Jokes More Violate Jokes

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

What' is a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...