Thermometer Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

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How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."

How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day?

A: They are both up to something.

What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

A: You make my temperature rise.

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Oral Rectal Thermometer Jokes More Oral Rectal Thermometer Jokes

What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

Mostly the taste.

Philippine Jokes More Philippine Jokes

How do you say Philippines in Ebonics?

Colombia

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers?

They cause too much brain damage.

Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

What would Jesus actually do?

Probably ban nail guns

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Oral Thermometer Jokes More Oral Thermometer Jokes

What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste!

Whats the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

Respond Jokes More Respond Jokes

What is closer the moon or London?

To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here

Why do think that?

The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a public park and a public toilet?

I need to know before my court date on Monday.

What's the difference between pickled ginger and a pressure washer?

One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser.

Big Difference Jokes More Big Difference Jokes

What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What's better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on an organ. Edit: accidentally a letter.

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!