Time Machine Jokes

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

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Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does the Pope use to dry his hands?

Papal towels.

What do you call a smiley face if someone uses it that lives in an igloo?

An Eskimoji

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

How do you make a horomone?

You don't pay her. (My mom is sick. Hilarious. But sick. )

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How did the doctor know Muhammad Ali was dead?

He never got up by the time he counted to 10 Edit: Phrasing

What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand?

O Cristor Redundant

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Why are softball games so hard to follow?

Because everyone secretly plays for the other team.

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

Tardi Jokes More Tardi Jokes

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why was the 6'6" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9" girlfriend dumped him?

A: He was nuts over her.

What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor?

That's no gouda

Location Jokes More Location Jokes

What is your location?

Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up

What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home?

Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

What is brown and sticky?

Michael J Fox opening a can of coke

Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds?

He got the shakes instead.