Time Machine Jokes

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

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Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

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Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

Tardi Jokes More Tardi Jokes

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Why is the washing machine so grumpy?

It keeps getting agitated

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What happened to your three week diet ?

Player: I finished it in three days !

What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes?

The posters.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

Why don't you ask your sister?

But I don't have a .........oooooh.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

Hard Time Jokes More Hard Time Jokes

Why did the pony have such a hard time talking?

He was a little horse

Why are negative parabolas so introverted?

They have a hard time opening up

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why are fire trucks always red?

You'd turn red if someone pulled on your hose wouldn't you?

What do you do if a blonde person throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.