Time Machine Jokes

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

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Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do Jesus and your mom have in common?

They both got nailed all night.

What do you call a cow... With three legs?

Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs That's right! Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs .... YOUR MOM.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods?

One of them has a good driver.

What is the difference between a divorce and a hurricane in the south?

Nothing, someone is losing a trailer!

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

How did the rednecks find their sister?

Pretty good.

What did the white guy say when he found out his sister got knocked up by her black boyfriend?

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!"

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a metal?

Because they're crossing the Finnish line.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why doctor?

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."

Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

Why is a woman unlike a washing machine?

After you throw a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow you around.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.