Traffic Jokes

Why did the chicken run out into traffic?

To get to the other side.

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Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

What do you call a deaf pokemon go player walking into traffic?

Anything you want they're not going to hear you.

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

What's the best thing about North Korea?

The traffic.

What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A: A PearlJam

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

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Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

What did the New York Salmon say to the driver?

I'm swimming here!

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What should you do when your ex-girlfriend stands in the spotlights?

Drive faster.

Who's driving?

Immigration.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the puffer fish say to the sea anemone?

Stop being so closed off.

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

Theory Jokes More Theory Jokes

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

How does traffic form?

My theory is that it is a Protozoa Plankton

Lsd Jokes More Lsd Jokes

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)?

one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P

Plunger Jokes More Plunger Jokes

How do her parents punish Helen Keller?

By leaving the plunger in the toilet.

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

Somebody left the plunger in the toilet.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

What did Reddit almost change their name to during the Victoria controversy?

Blueit. -just thought of it, sorry its a little late to the party

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear about the hungry clock?

It went back four seconds.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.