Ur Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

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What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?

Con-grab-ur-asians!!

Why y'all checkin' me?

Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

What's ur name?

Bonnie" C: That ur real name "Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker" C: ...Bonnie it is

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

if u say its not ok they give it to u for free

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How many guys in the friend zone does it take to light a light bulb?

None, they just stand around complimenting it, and get mad when it won't screw.

What's the best kind of guy to get fingered by?

One with Parkinson's disease!

Approve Jokes More Approve Jokes

Why did got object to the wedding between the catholic man and the catholic woman?

He doesn't approve of same sect marriage

What is mother-approved and child-tested?

Coat-Hanger Abortions

Ma'am Jokes More Ma'am Jokes

Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

What is science?

Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

Why is a psychiatrist like a squirrel?

Because they are both surrounded by nuts.

How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

You are fine, how am I?"

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Who wears a toga and a face mask?

The Roman Umpire.

What's the difference between a priest and his dog?

One wears pants and a collar while the other wears a collar and pants.

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

What did the policeman do to his fear of the dark?

He shot it.

What weapon is most feared by knights?

A can opener.

Bonnie Jokes More Bonnie Jokes

Who's there ! Bonnie ! Bonnie who ?

Bonnie by soloflex !

What duo were famous for stealing horses?

Bonnie and Clydesdale!

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's the difference between the Chinese and Germans?

The Chinese rike and the Germans Reich.

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction?

Wong Wei