Ur Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

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What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?

Con-grab-ur-asians!!

Why y'all checkin' me?

Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?

When ur done, u can drop her off anywhere.

What's ur name?

Bonnie" C: That ur real name "Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker" C: ...Bonnie it is

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

if u say its not ok they give it to u for free

What is in common between a napkin and a person?

If you sleep with a person, he/she is ur nap-kin.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

What happens to all Vertibird pilots?

They Fallout

Fear Jokes More Fear Jokes

Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese?

Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario.

What's white, black, and can smell fear?

deez nuts.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you mix tea and a dogs name?

A dinosaur! Ha ha get it Tea-rex Hahaha...

How do you stop a dog from barking in July?

Shoot him in June.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What does a math mermaid wear?

An algeabra....

Why do hipsters not wear cardigans anymore?

Because they wore them before it was cool.

Roof Jokes More Roof Jokes

What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn?

A: Get off.

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

Homeless Woman Jokes More Homeless Woman Jokes

What's the best part about dating a homeless women?

You can drop her off anywhere.

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Plastic Wrap Jokes More Plastic Wrap Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

Why did linkin park wrap themselves up in plastic wrap before they jumped off a cliff?

So in the end they didn't even splatter.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What's the emergency?

How long before the rice is ready "

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.