Zodiac Sign Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

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What's your zodiac sign?

Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real.

How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo?

Julio

What's the diagnosis doctor?

What is your zodiac sign ' 'Cancer.' 'What a coincidence!'

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadriplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer

What's the prognosis, Doc?

DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT ! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor.

Coincidence Jokes More Coincidence Jokes

What do you call it when a prayer is answered?

A coincidence.

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?

Coincidence on 34th Street

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you ask for a cigarette in spain?

Tapas a snout!

When asked to provide proof that he had cirrhosis, what did OP do?

OP de-livered.

Ted Cruz Jokes More Ted Cruz Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

How many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb?

Twenty-Juan

What do you call a Mexican on a RIDING lawn mower?

Promoted

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What did the cat... Say to the person?

Nothing, because cats don't speak.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

Deaf Jokes More Deaf Jokes

Why do farts smell so bad?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer!*

David Bowie Jokes More David Bowie Jokes

What did David Bowie want for Christmas?

Carrie Fisher.

What is David Bowie's favourite energy drink?

Redbull Redbull