Deaf Jokes

How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz?

Use zodiac signs

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Why do farts smell so bad?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

What do you call an Italian with no arms?

Deaf

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.

What did the deaf, blind, crippled kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Why did the programmer visit the city tour?

Because they were handing out guides for the deaf.

Why do farts stink?

So the deaf can enjoy them too.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer!*

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Herd Jokes More Herd Jokes

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

What did the farmer say when the townspeople told him all of his cows were in town..?

I herd.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What's a skunk's favourite game in school?

Show and smell!

What do gynecologists and pizza delivery drivers have in common?

They're close enough to smell it, but can't have a taste.

Deaf Gynecologist Jokes More Deaf Gynecologist Jokes

What do you call a deaf gynecologist?

A lip reader

How does a deaf Gynecologist communicate with his patients?

He reads lips.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What's the difference between sheep and women?

The Welsh don't know yet either.

Why Do Scottish people wear kilts?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper go down a mile away.

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language does a patio speak?

Porch-uguese

What language do they speak in Holland?

Hollandaise.

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?

Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why are the buses in London red?

You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes.

What did Masters say to Johnson?

I don't know what the worlds coming to

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What did the bus conductor say to the frog?

Hop on.

Why was Jimmy sad?

Cause Jimmy had a frog stapled to his face.