How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

Why did the boy take a ruler to bed with him?

A: To see how long he slept.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why did the cop wake up his son?

To stop a kid napping.

What did the son corn say to the mama corn?

Where's pop corn

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What are you drinking, son?

Soy milk. -Hola milk, soy tu padre. Edit : Removed the "es" that was bothering everyone

Why did the paralympic athlete loose the race?

He didn't start off with the right foot. EDIT: Ortography

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him?

I've got a golden tinkle in my eye...

Why do liberals travel in threes?

A: One to read one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do Ethiopians do at night?

Starve.

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ?

Russell !