How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?

Her: What You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why do we sleep?

Because we get sleepy.

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How does a muslim man close a door?

Islams it!

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

Why did the paralympic athlete loose the race?

He didn't start off with the right foot. EDIT: Ortography

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

Why did the tear testify in court?

Because he was an eye wetness.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call a pot smoker that spends every night dancing and drinking with his friends?

A Rastapartying

What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.