How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

Previous Random Joke Next

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when Vladimir Putin stands up too fast?

Head Russian...

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?

First it goes ping then it goes pong.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How can a man go 7 days without sleeping?

Sleep at night

Why does the nudist always go to bed early?

Because he never sleeps in much!

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What movie did they go to see?

Closed for Winter".

What is a Mexicans closing sales pitch?

Kay-so-deal-a?

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?

Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son."

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What do the wage gap and the story of Hercules have in common?

They're both myths.

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

How do you make a Venetian blind?

Poke him in the eye

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you call and Irish person who stays outside all night?

Paddy O'Furniture

Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep?

Their cicadan rhythm is off