What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do lobsters make bad lovers?

They're shellfish in bed.

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did the Italian wear handcuffs to bed?

So he wouldn't talk in his sleep

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

Toothbrush Jokes More Toothbrush Jokes

How do we know that the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi?

Because anywhere else it would've been called the teethbrush

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

Why didn't the TSA let the chair through security?

It was armed.

What has four legs but can't walk?

A chair.

Brush Jokes More Brush Jokes

What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair?

A Hun knee comb.

What do you call it when you thrust a hairy pole in and out of your mouth, and at the end you spit out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth!