What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph

Why didn't Ann Frank finish her diary?

She needed more concentration.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How much do dead batteries cost?

Nothing. They are free of charge!

Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented?

What are our scientists doing

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What do you mean?

It's all denty"

How many Southerners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Change Whatever do you mean, *change*

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of bird does 2 Chainz own?

Toucan

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

Fact Jokes More Fact Jokes

What's the worst part of being bipolar?

The fact you love it.

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Who's there ! Bacon ! Bacon who ?

Bacon a cake for your birthday !

Tool Jokes More Tool Jokes

What do u get when u mix a douche and a tool?

Scottsdale.

What monsters are all the tools in the toolbox afraid of?

Vampliers