Amputee Jokes

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

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What do amputees and cricket have in common?

Stumps

What did the man say after he got into a fight with the amputee?

You stumped me!

What do you call a guy who plays the guitar unplugged?

An amputee

What do you call it when an amputee does Karate?

Partial Arts! :)

What did one amputee say to the other?

I'm as stumped as you are!

What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles?

Stumped

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What do you call Tinder for an amputee?

Timber

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

Why can't Americans play chess ?

Because they are missing two towers.

Cricket Jokes More Cricket Jokes

Who's there ! Cricket ! Cricket who ?

Cricket neck means I can't lift anything !

What do you call a story about a broken-down computer mouse?

Depressing. **crickets**

Karate Jokes More Karate Jokes

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Pork Chop!

What do you call lesbians doing karate?

dikewondo

League Jokes More League Jokes

Why are League of Legends players the most skeptical people on Earth?

Because they take everything with a grain of salt.

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

Purchase Jokes More Purchase Jokes

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Who would win in a fight?

A bicycle wheel or an old book Well, it's hard to say. One's pumped and the other's ripped.

What do you do if you're Fighting a group of circus performers?

Go for the juggler

Double Amputee Jokes More Double Amputee Jokes

Why couldn't Joe be friends with a double-amputee?

Because he's lack-toes intolerant.

Why are double amputees always wrong?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why does Poland stay from Germany?

a couple decades ago they had a three way with Russia that ended poorly

Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.