Baltimore Jokes

How many different kinds of crabs can you get in Baltimore?

Two, and often from the same person.

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What is the worst city to be a cop in?

Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work.

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

Where do the happy people of Baltimore live?

In a merry land.

What's the number for Baltimore chiropractic services?

9-1-2001

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What do you call a riot in Baltimore?

Target practice.

What do you get when you burn Baltimore?

Baltiless

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore?

Old Bae

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Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

Which duck will destroy the establishment?

None, ducks are not allowed in politics.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

Why can't you play cards on a small boat?

Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do seagulls live by the Sea..?

Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it.

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?

Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate?

No, a fence.

What do you call a person without a son?

per

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

Where do French lawyers like to relax?

The J'accusi

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's your funniest yet least known joke?

I have a friend that absolutely loves cheesy, question and answer jokes and I wanna make a card with a list of them! The problem is that she knows just about every joke known to man so I challenge you to give me hilarious, short jokes that aren't very widely known. Make me laugh!

Why did Michael Jackson love Beethoven's 3rd symphony?

It was done in A minor.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What did the black man get on his SAT's?

BBQ sause.

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.