Child Hospital Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

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Why wasn't Michael Jackson allowed to perform at the children's hospital?

Because he is dead. ((I came up with this joke when I was very tired.))

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What does Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?

They are both made of plastic and get turned on by children!

What did the Buffalo say when his child left for college?

Bison

Car Crash Jokes More Car Crash Jokes

What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who's gonna drive her?

That's right. You.

How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?

He was a good conductor.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Simba's dad die?

He couldn't Mufasa

What's so cool about cemeteries?

I don't get it. People are dying to get in them.

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did Gandalf have to go to the hospital to get a splinter removed?

He had a staff infection...

Why has there never been an Asian president?

Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours

Diagnose Jokes More Diagnose Jokes

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office?

He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What's the difference between life and wife's rant?

Life eventually ends.