Con Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.

What's a good thing about a novelist conman?

He may have a lot of cons, but he also has a lot of prose.

What's the best thing about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here.

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

Who's there ! Con ! Con who?

Con unhinged !

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison?

One's a pro, and one's a con.

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Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and an autonomous robot...?

Nothing... they were both made to steal American jobs.

Snowman Jokes More Snowman Jokes

Where do snowmen keep their money ?

In a snowbank !

What did the snowman say when he got coal for Christmas?

I can see!

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending condescending

How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?

None. He "fell".

Condescend Con Descending Jokes More Condescend Con Descending Jokes

What do you call an arrogant patronizing thief coming down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call an arrogant con walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

How do you get a whale off a beach?

A whale-barrow!

Why are doctors sued for malpractice at the beach?

A: Because they are judged by a jury of their piers.

Saint Patrick Day Jokes More Saint Patrick Day Jokes

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

Snobby Criminal Jokes More Snobby Criminal Jokes

What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con desending..

What do you call a snobby criminal going downstairs?

A condescending con descending

Leper Jokes More Leper Jokes

What's the fastest way to make a skeleton?

Put a leper in a wind tunnel

How does the leper give directions?

It's straight ahead, just my finger".