Crook Jokes

What do you call a clown and a crook rolling in feces?

The US elections.

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Why was the Redditor's picture crooked?

Because Redditors aren't known for keeping a level head.

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!"

Why did the bank robber go to the chiropractor?

Because he had a crook in his neck.

What does a crook see with?

Burglarize

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Election Jokes More Election Jokes

Why do presidents have unsatisfied wives?

It takes four years to get an election.

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

Bath Jokes More Bath Jokes

What did the Monkey say when his bath was too hot?

Ooh-Ooh-Aah- Aah

Why did the ocean take a bath?

It had a sandy bottom.

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Why was the ocean always sad?

Because the beach never waved back.

How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff?

She left her Head &amp Shoulders on the beach

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why did the mathematician celebrate 4/20 on January 5?

Because he knows how to reduce fractions.

How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch?

The big hand's touching the little hand.

Accuse Jokes More Accuse Jokes

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the drunkard say when he walked into an Israeli bar?

Hebrews?

Two guys walk into a bar . . .

The first guy says "Ouch!" and the second says "Yeah, I didn't see it either."

Chelsea Jokes More Chelsea Jokes

What do you get when 42 goes into 45?

Chelsea.

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Criminal Jokes More Criminal Jokes

What do you call it when a criminal goes down an elevator?

A con descending.

What did Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and Nelson Mandela all have in common?

They're all criminals.