Drunk Driving Jokes

Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

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How did the steak knife find himself after drunk driving?

In car, serrated

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

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What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?

Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

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What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

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Why do white people own so many pets?

Because we're not allowed to own people anymore.

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

Air Jokes More Air Jokes

How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?

A: He holds it in the air and the world revolves around him

What lies on its back 100 feet in the air?

A centipede

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you're driving on?

steer clear

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How does a feminist screw in a light bulb?

She doesn't, she just holds it in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

Swerve Jokes More Swerve Jokes

What kind of vehicle swerved to miss a talking lizard in the road?

Dodged-a-Rango

What do you call a doe that swerves all over the road?

A rackless driver...

Buzz Jokes More Buzz Jokes

What did Woody say to Buzz?

A lot. There were 3 movies.

Why do bees buzz ?

Because they can't whistle !