Existential Crisis Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis?

Bob.

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

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Wild Jokes More Wild Jokes

How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one?

The domesticated doesnt have balls

What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

Mouse Jokes More Mouse Jokes

What kind of musical instrument do mice play ?

A mouse organ !

What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?

A purrfect meal !

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?

They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a mechanic got laid?

He has one clean finger

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

Solipsist Jokes More Solipsist Jokes

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist?

Because they won't believe it.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What dogs never get lost?

Newfound-lands!

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals?

For all in tents and porpoises, they're constantly moving.

What do philosophical dolphins say?

What's the porpoise?

Aquarium Jokes More Aquarium Jokes

What did the fish say to the man draining its aquarium?

WATER YOU DOING

What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium?

An aard-shark!