Existential Crisis Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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What do you call a mouse named Bob who's having an existential crisis?

Bob.

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

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Mouse Jokes More Mouse Jokes

When should a mouse carry an umbrella ?

When it's raining cats and dogs !

What do you call a mouse with cheese but no crackers?

Cracka-lackin

Wild Jokes More Wild Jokes

What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one?

The domesticated doesnt have balls

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Why do you call the US government when a blizzard of secret information gets released?

They're snowed-en!

What's it called when an Arabic author releases their latest novel after dinner?

Post-Hummus

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Solipsist Jokes More Solipsist Jokes

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist?

Because they won't believe it.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

How's your wife been?

Harry...."She's an angel, how about yours " Bob...."Egh, mine is still alive."

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing ?

Because they're crab apples !

Dolphin Jokes More Dolphin Jokes

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ?

He prawned everything !

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!"

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch?

One of his fingers is clean