Dolphin Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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Why was the dolphin sad?

Because it had no porpoise in life.

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

endorphins

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

Why did the dolphin get a fair trial?

Because Habeas Porpoise.

Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

What did the dolphin say when he ran into the sea turtle?

Sorry, I didn't do it on porpoise."

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

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What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by?

Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here? Please, this is a cry for help.

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net?

It's not a too-nah!"

Why was the dolphin so upset with the attendance of his drunken kegger?

It lacked porpoise.

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?

Because he ate too many crabs!

Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed?

The sharks life lacked porpoise.

What is a Dolphins favorite ingredient?

All porpoise flour.

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

What do the dolphins and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know

How do dolphins send messages?

By sea-mail.

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

How do Dolphins live their lives?

With a porpoise.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

What did the dolphin say to the other dolphin after he splashed him?

Hey! You did that on porpoise!"

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ?

He prawned everything !

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

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Hey, pho queue, dude

Why did the bald man cut a hole in his pocket?

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What's the diffrence between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath?

The girl in a church has a soul full of hope and the girl in a bath has, well... EDIT: better structure.

Why did the duck get kicked out of church?

Because he was using fowl language!

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Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium?

He was sleeping with the fishes.

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying :'(

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What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber?

Bruce Banner

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?

The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What did the priest use to forgive the sinners that shot up his church?

A holey bible. And, yet, it still made more sense than Scientology.

Why do you keep changing a word into something that makes no sense ?

You are the banner of my existence.

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

Why did the whale cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

Endorphin Jokes More Endorphin Jokes

What do you call a dolphin with agoraphobia?

endorphins

Why do I love putting down kids without parents?

Cause endorphins make me feel good.

Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

Why did the lone dolphin stop swimming?

He didn't see a porpoise...