Heart Attack Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

Why didn't the American get the burger?

because the heart attack got him first.

What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did the black man have a heart attack?

afrosclerosis

When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing Charades.

What will he have?

Student: "A heart attack."

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American Jokes More American Jokes

How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.

What do you call an american late night channel block dedicated to tsundere anime shows?

Tsunami

Recommend Jokes More Recommend Jokes

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What did you just say!?

I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room.

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What kind of tea do you pay an arm and a leg for?

Amputee

What happens if you don't pay after an exorcism?

You'll get repossessed!

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?

Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

What is a nurse in the maternity ward's favorite kind of food?

Delivery.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How do you know if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a testicle.

Why do girls... Hang out in odd numbers?

Because they can't even!

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

What kind of boy is he?

A noughty one.

Why do think that?

The boy responds "Because he closes his eyes when he kisses me."