Heart Attack Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

Why didn't the American get the burger?

because the heart attack got him first.

What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did the black man have a heart attack?

afrosclerosis

When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing Charades.

What will he have?

Student: "A heart attack."

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Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What is the difference between a black man and an elevator?

An elevator can raise a child.

Why did the black man go to the golf-club on Sunday afternoon?

Because he had a membership.

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

Cause the building collapsed, duh.

What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed?

So ve it."

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

Why was Game Of Thrones banned from twitter?

Because twitter has an 140 character limit.

Why was the volleyball player drunk at a game?

Because he spiked his drink

Eminem Jokes More Eminem Jokes

What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye?

A snooker table

What's it called when a T-Rex hurts itself?

A dino-sore

Paramedic Jokes More Paramedic Jokes

How did the paramedics know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove box

What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians?

A paramedic(s)!

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do women and parking spots have in common?

All the good ones are already taken, and the available ones are either pay or handicapped.

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

What separates the men from the boys?

Operation Yewtree.

Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?

Because he just came to pick up his little sister.