Heisenberg Jokes

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time.

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Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

Why did Heisenberg remove the speedometer from his car?

So he would stop getting lost everything he checked it.

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

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Home Jokes More Home Jokes

Why not?

It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks?

Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home.

Bad Lover Jokes More Bad Lover Jokes

Why do robots make bad lovers?

Nuts &amp bolts!

Why do North Korean statesmen make for bad lovers?

Because they won't hold a public erection.

Position Jokes More Position Jokes

What's the difference between a vacuum and a Harley Davidson?

The position of the dirtbag

Which positions does a violist use?

A: First third and emergency.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5,6,7,8!

How many social justice activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

They can't change anything lol

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

What do you call it when stoners split a check?

High finance.

Momentum Jokes More Momentum Jokes

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?

A: When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's the best response when someone wastes your time?

Answers below please.

What part of your punctuality emancipates the Chinese?

Your Ti"ming"!

Speedometer Jokes More Speedometer Jokes

Why didn't you check your speedometer?

Driver: It broke when I hit 100.

Why does Heisenberg hate driving?

He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer.