Hot Pocket Jokes

When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets

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What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card?

One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets.

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did Windows skip 9?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9?

Because 7 ate 9

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What is with 2016?

It's like everyone and their mothers are dying. sorry not sorry

What's wrinkly and hangs out your pants?

Your mother.

Lesbian Jokes More Lesbian Jokes

What are they planning on calling the next die hard movie in which the main villain is a lesbian terrorist?

DYKE HARD

What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?

Hey! We really DO taste like chicken!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?

A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

What do vampires make sandwiches out of?

Self-raising dead.

What's the difference between a sandwich and a baby?

Doesn't matter, they both taste the same.

Wealth Jokes More Wealth Jokes

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

What did the Wealth of Nations say to the Communist Manifesto to cheer it up?

Some day you will be red!