Intel Jokes

What's the biggest difference between Intel and AMD?

How they process things.

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Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Why do teenagers want to work for Intel?

Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?

A: The warning label.

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands?

He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'

Why couldn't the apple speak to the orange ?

because he didn't know Mandarin

Pedo File Jokes More Pedo File Jokes

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What sort file do you you need to turn a 1.5 inch hole into a 4.5 inch one?

A pedo-file.

Ibm Jokes More Ibm Jokes

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Boeing Jokes More Boeing Jokes

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Fbi Jokes More Fbi Jokes

What's the difference between my Grandma and the FBI?

My Grandma can unlock an iphone.

What do you call a dinosaur FBI agent?

A pteredacted.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing a mechanic can't fix?

Stupid

How does the Pope pay for things online?

Papal

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors?

Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.

What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?

King Kong

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

How are E.T. and a Mexican immigrant the same?

They both steal your bike.