Intel Jokes

What's the biggest difference between Intel and AMD?

How they process things.

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Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Why do teenagers want to work for Intel?

Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?

A: The warning label.

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?

A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

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Laptop Jokes More Laptop Jokes

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

Why couldnt the laptop see?

Cause it was SoDIMM

Sticker Jokes More Sticker Jokes

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

What does a child with stickers have in common with a cocaine addicted DJ?

They both love to scratch and sniff. (sorry if it's a repost I'm not here often)

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

How many McDonalds workers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they can't climb the ladder.

What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

Pedo File Jokes More Pedo File Jokes

What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?

A Pedo File.

What do you call a collection of research and papers on a child molester?

A pedo file

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?

Pupperoni

Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic?

Because he enjoys living in denial.

Add Jokes More Add Jokes

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing! Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

What happens when you accidently add an extra p to tp?

Banned from

Pokmon Jokes More Pokmon Jokes

Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokmon Go?

Because Intel Inside.

What Pokmon does the best with the ladies?

Charm-ander

Process Jokes More Process Jokes

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

What is the process for a terrorist kidnapping?

Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!