Ion Jokes

What did the detective particle say to the suspect particle?

I got my ion you.

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What do you call an ion that also raps?

Fluoride, duh.

What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

How does a physicist exercise?

By pumping ion!

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

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Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why the long pause?

asks the bartender. The bear replies "Well, I am a bear"

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's do pot and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

How do you tell if you've posted an anitjoke in /r/Jokes?

If someone comments saying you posted an antijoke and that you should rather post your joke in /r/antijokes.

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What kind of a battery does Dj Khaled use?

A Li-ion battery.

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

Wreck Jokes More Wreck Jokes

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out.

What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?

A caiman like a wrecking ball.

Accordion Jokes More Accordion Jokes

What's the range of an accordion?

A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

What's an accordion good for?

A: Learning how to fold a map.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they are surrounded by drafts!

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?

I just need some bread

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.

School Jokes More School Jokes

What is a feminists least favourite subject at school?

Triggernometry.

How far do burgers go in school?

Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!).