Isaac Newton Jokes

What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the dead baby in my microwave?

Isaac Newton died a virgin

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What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Why was Sir Isaac Newton buried at Westminster Abbey?

Because he was dead.

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.

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Polaroids.

How did Humpty Dumpty get ripped?

Wall-sits.

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What washes up on tiny beaches?

Microwaves.

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave

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What does Paddy Irishman says when he meets a one legged jockey?

How're you gettin' on

What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle?

You're about to meet da-feet!

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Why doesn't The Rock just tell us what he's cooking?

I can't pair wines like this.

How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000?

Smells like teen spirit.

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Why are hipsters the oldest known form of life?

They were on the Earth before it was cool.

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

Derive Jokes More Derive Jokes

Why did the mathematician get pulled over?

for drinking and deriving

How does a mathematician get to work?

He derives!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a mod and a banana?

removed

What is the difference between a generalist and a specialist?

A Specialist knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing. A Generalist knows less and less about more and more until he knows absolutely nothing about everything.

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

Why didn't the Asian man cry when his wife died?

Because he just couldn't bereave it.

What do you call a lost Asian man?

Disoriental