Laugh Matter Jokes

Why was the 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered six offender... that's not a laughing matter...

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Why are atoms so serious?

Because they're no laughing matter.

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?

Where did Es-car-go.

What does a monster do when he loses his head?

He calls a head hunter.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is my waiting room empty?

Judge: "I hauled everyone off to court" Doctor: "You're trying my patients"

Why can't an IT guy be a doctor?

Nurse: Doctor, the patient's life support is acting strange. . . Doctor: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you call an NBA Superstar who's first job was stocking milk?

Legen-dairy*

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

Inspire Jokes More Inspire Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

Ibm Jokes More Ibm Jokes

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work?

IBM

Career Jokes More Career Jokes

Why was the archeologist sad?

His career was in ruins.

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

Californian Jokes More Californian Jokes

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs and infinity pools.

Why did the californian celebrate his birthday a day earlier?

He moved down-under!!

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What do you call corn with a sense of humor?

Laughing stalk

What happens to a laffy taffy joke in the rain?

It makes me laugh a little bit, in the rain.