Literally Jokes

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

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Why are high school girls only 13, 15, or 17?

Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even.

What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink?

I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW

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Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

How many times does a woman laugh after you tell her a joke?

Three. When you tell it to her, then when you explain it to her, and then when she gets it.

What happens if you're late to extremophile school?

You get a tardy grade. ( that explains the joke if you don't get it.)

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What do you call a nun who's drinking a pint?

Catholic

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

It was 2 tired...

Why did the scare crow win the award?

He was out standing in his field. This has Always been my favourite pun.

Islam Jokes More Islam Jokes

What do you call the cool, terroristy Muslims?

Radical Islam

Which religion breeds terrorism the most?

Not Islam

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's Chris Brown's favourite time of day?

12:34!

What time of day was Adam born?

Just a little before Eve

Idk Jokes More Idk Jokes

How many fuccbois does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

idk, you dtf tho

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room?

Depends on how you throw (idk if this is a repost)

Dozen Jokes More Dozen Jokes

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

What's the magic word?

Cut to them back at the station writing on a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

What's it called when a dog burns down a building?

Arfson