Long Day Jokes

How does Stephen Hawking refresh after a long day?

F5.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

a handshake!

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

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Californian Jokes More Californian Jokes

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs and infinity pools.

How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hella.

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?

Because it was making him moody.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years

How many dancers does it take to change a lightbulb?

5,6,7,8

France Jokes More France Jokes

How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme ... pomme pomme ..."

What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France?

Linoleum blown apart

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did the cheerleader get kicked out on her last day of school?

x-post from /r/punny Because you can't end on a prep position.

Why does Tiger have to take so many baths?

Because he plays with Pooh all day.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her.

How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do the Montreal Canadians drive?

Carrs.

Why did nobody in the Soviet Union drive manual cars?

They were afraid of Stalin'