What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a Lion from charging?

have a successful dentistry practise.

Why did the farmer stop smoking with his cattle?

Because the steaks were too high...

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?

Possum: Oh yeah

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

Waiter: We can dream can't we

What two places can you find a California roll?

Sushi bars and stop signs.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch?

Because he had Somalia.

Why did the hotel manager refuse to rent his rooms out to people?

He needed places to hide the bodies.

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.

What are the keys made of?

Me Uhh.. Rhino appears behind me Tell him Kyle

Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

Why do zoos pay for simian liability insurance?

To avoid monkey suits