What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Who do you save?

America. Keep right on going and don't stop.

How do you trap an elephant?

You first dig a hole, second, you fill the hole with ashes, also throw some peas in there. When the elephant stops to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How do you play Iraqi bingo?

F18...B52...F18

What game do little cows like to play?

Moonopoly.

Hollywood Jokes More Hollywood Jokes

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

Why do primates do so well in show biz?

Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What do you call it when someone leaves at the first sign of a hurricane?

A premature evacuation.

What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why do Congo gamers refuse to play with Belgians?

They're afraid of getting owned

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Appear Jokes More Appear Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why does light travel faster than sound?

Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

Why are gorillas so noisy?

A: They were raised in a zoo!

Why does the zoo only have dogs?

Because they shot the gorilla