Hollywood Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

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Why does Hollywood loveee to hire British Actors?

Cheap labor.

What's a Chinese fisherman's least favorite part of living in Hollywood?

Pilot season

Which director is Hollywood's darling?

Michael Bae

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver" :P

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is Hollywood full of vampires?

They need someone to play the bit parts.

How Do they say "F**k You" in Hollywood?

Trust Me..."

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

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Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

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Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the definition of a Mistress?

Oh, I don't know. Probably something between a Mister and a mattress.

When geese fly in a "V" formation, do you know why one side is longer than the other?

Because there are more birds on that side.

Weave Jokes More Weave Jokes

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver" :P

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

How do you confuse a feminist?

Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments?

Because they're always partial. I'm so sorry.

Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw silverware down a flight of stairs....ting, tong, ping, ding

What did the drunken Irishman say to the Chinese diplomat?

http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/whatdidthedrunkenirishmansaytothechinese/