Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

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What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

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Michael Phelps Jokes More Michael Phelps Jokes

Why does Michael Phelps make a good boyfriend?

He is a good breast-stroker.

How amazing is Michael Phelps?

He's got like a Brazilian Medals.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns?

They promised freaky fast delivery

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

Gold Medal Jokes More Gold Medal Jokes

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being

What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Legs

Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

Why is the time in the USA behind that of England ?

Because England was discovered before the USA !

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell, with 100% certainty, that no intelligent alien life exists that we know of?

Because if it did, we'd have sent foreign aid by now.

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the only thing worse than asbestos?

Asworstos.

What's the first thing you install on a new computer?

The operating system

Jumper Jokes More Jumper Jokes

What did the policeman say to the jumper?

Pullover

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper ?

Warren !

Swimmer Jokes More Swimmer Jokes

What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common?

The both came in a little behind

Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.