Medale Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the bear run around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why am I here?

Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.

What kind of jokes does a priest tell?

Dad jokes

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

What's black and white . . . What's black and white and loves kids?

Michael Jackson

Medal Jokes More Medal Jokes

How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal?

handsfree

How does North Korea only have four medals so far?

We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Whats white and likes to shoot?

Kevin Nash

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

Teammate Jokes More Teammate Jokes

How did the failing Heroes of the Storm player apologize to their teammate?

I'm gonna level with you.

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

What is the difference between the regular police and the secret service?

The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.

Silver Medal Jokes More Silver Medal Jokes

What's better than winning a silver medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded

What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics?

Not being disabled.