A re-postman. Or a re-post person if you feel triggered.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Coffee Mug
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.
Vanmailen.
A little stiff.
Because it has cis-trust issues
Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)
They can't handle the triggers.
A polar bear.
Sir" from a distance.
This is the end.
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
They deliver
A bird who knocks before delivering its message !
I don't knead you anymore.
I don't know. I'm retiring next month.
Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!
A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
A Remote control
A pat on the head.