Postman Jokes

What do you call a person who delivers horribly?

A re-postman. Or a re-post person if you feel triggered.

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Why didn't the internit get any e-mail?

Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.

Why do postmen carry letters?

Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself?

Vanmailen.

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Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?

A little stiff.

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

Trigger Jokes More Trigger Jokes

What does a Men's Rights activist call a broken hand?

Celibacy. (Edit: LOL! Seems I've "triggered" some folks with broken hands and fedora collections.)

Why can't a feminist shoot a gun?

They can't handle the triggers.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a seal and a polar bear?

A polar bear.

What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine?

Sir" from a distance.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

This is the end.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

What does a Obstetrician and a well written joke have in common?

They deliver

What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ?

A bird who knocks before delivering its message !

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

Pat Jokes More Pat Jokes

Who do you pat with encouragement when they fail to work?

A Remote control

What do you get when you sit under a cow?

A pat on the head.