King Kong Jokes

Why did King Kong go to the airport?

He had a plane to catch.

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What do you call a gorilla that got shot even though it didn't want to do anything wrong?

King Kong

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building?

He couldn't fit in the elevator.

What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty?

Are you my mother

Why is King Kong big and hairy?

So you can tell him apart from a gooseberry.

Why did King Kong join the army?

To learn about gorilla warfare.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?

A terrified postman.

What should you do if you are on a picnic with King Kong?

Give him the biggest bananas.

What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

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What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?

A flat note.

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?

With a monkey wrench.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

How much did King Kong get paid for his latest movie?

A gorillian dollars

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?

King Kong in clingfilm

What do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend?

A flat mate.

Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything?

King Kong's shadow.

What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg?

Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?

Just don't monkey with him.

What business is King Kong in?

Monkey business.

What happened when King Kong swallowed Big Ben?

He found time-consuming.

What did the big ape say when he dialed incorrectly?

Oops! King Kong ring wrong."

What does King Kong and a black person have in common?

neither of them can't speak english and are unemployed.

Why didn't King Kong go to Hong Kong?

He didn't like Chinese food.

What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a snowman?

Frostbite.

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What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

Ape Ril Jokes More Ape Ril Jokes

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

Statue Jokes More Statue Jokes

What did the statue say to the chair?

Chair? Statue?! :D

What did the statue say to the other statue?

Hey, S-tat-ue?

Watchdog Jokes More Watchdog Jokes

What goes "Tick Tock, woof woof"?

A watchdog.

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.

Noise Jokes More Noise Jokes

Where's Jim?

He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies

What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make?

Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u

North Korean Jokes More North Korean Jokes

Why does the North Korean military always lose their battles?

xpost /r/meanjokes Every single shot at them is at a chink in their armor.

What weighs 20 times a North Korean?

Kim Jong Un.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

How did Reddit not fell down yet?

I mean, it is only hanging by threads...

Join Jokes More Join Jokes

What do you get when Italians join ISIS?

Baked Yazidi

Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?

He heard they had PIE.