Retirement Jokes

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

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How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

How do Jedi plan for retirement?

With a Hoth IRA. I'll see myself out.

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Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in the Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Bob Builder Jokes More Bob Builder Jokes

How do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed?

Bob

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?

Bob.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders?

A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing their from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know " whenever you ask them a question.

Why did Bob disagree with communism?

He thought it was such Bolshevik.

Pyramid Scheme Jokes More Pyramid Scheme Jokes

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

What did the sphinx say?

What did the sphinx say when he found out the pharaoh caught him up in a pyramid scheme Egypt me!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise?

The captain's log.

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything?

The mythbusters and ghostbusters.

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)