Retirement Jokes

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

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How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

How do Jedi plan for retirement?

With a Hoth IRA. I'll see myself out.

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Aftermath Jokes More Aftermath Jokes

When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath

What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work?

The aftermath

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?

Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Bob Jokes More Bob Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water?

Bob

What's your blud type bob?

Typo

Mathematician Jokes More Mathematician Jokes

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

What does a mathematician get from a day at the beach?

Tan lines.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

Why can't you be successful like your brother?

Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a 7 year old redneck girl who can run faster than her brothers?

A virgin.

What do you call batman when he runs out of church?

Christian bale

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS?

What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS? CaliphNotes!

What's the most important part of an ISIS joke?

The execution.

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)