Retirement Jokes

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

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How do dogs save for retirement?

With a Ruff IRA.

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

How do Jedi plan for retirement?

With a Hoth IRA. I'll see myself out.

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Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why does Cinderella never win the Olympics?

She has a pumpkin for a coach and runs away from the ball.

What's the difference between a robber and a politician?

Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.

Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Wash Jokes More Wash Jokes

Where do fish wash ?

In a river basin !

What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?

Missile Toe!

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

How do magicians retire?

They seem to just disappear.

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

Trucker Jokes More Trucker Jokes

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore?

Semi-retired.

Bob Builder Jokes More Bob Builder Jokes

What was Bob the Builder called after he retired?

Bob.

What Do You Call Bob The Builder When He Retires?

Bob.

Aftermath Jokes More Aftermath Jokes

What do mathematicians call retirement?

Aftermath

When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath