Trucker Jokes

What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore?

Semi-retired.

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How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

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Pecan Jokes More Pecan Jokes

How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)

What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?

Pecan, typically.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the surfer say to David Carradine?

Hang tight

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the train go left?

Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it.

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.99 deer nuts are under a buck

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

How am I driving?

No seriously, how did I get here. This isn't my car.

What car did the Apostles drive?

Hint:Acts 2:1 KJV)

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why should you never wear Ukrainian underwear?

Because Chernobyl fall off.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?

sneakers( iknow its old but its nice)

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do lesbians use for lubricant?

Tartar sauce!

What does the KKK use to bake cookies?

White flour!

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call four Mexicans that have drowned?

Cuatro Cinco.

Why is a Mexican midget called 'a paragraph'?

Because he's not a full es.