Contact Jokes

Why did the chicken get a Ouija Board?

To contact those on the other side.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How many successive 'ands' can you fit into a sentence with it still making sense?

The landlord at The Dog And Duck pub needed a new sign to hang above the door, so he contacted his signwriter. The signwriter arrived a week later with the new sign, hung it above the door, and asked the landlord what he thought. The landlord replied with, "I like it. However, I do feel that there should be bigger spaces between ' ' and ' ', and ' ' and ' '".

How do you contact a cross dresser?

Shemail

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

What did the skunk use to contact his girlfriend?

A: His smellular phone!

What's the difference between an airplane and an abortion?

Only one doesn't fly after coming into contact with a hanger

This joke may have profanity.

How will future generations contact Beyonce's ghost?

They'll hold a Beyonceance.

How do you contact dead window cleaners?

Use a squeegee board.

What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman?

A criminal record.

How does Super Mario contact the dead?

He uses a Luigi board.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?

It lost its contacts.

What's your cell phone?

iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.

How does Super Mario contact his dead brother?

Using a Luigi board!

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Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me" .

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What's going on?

Me: The kids gave me this *holds up Dad Is #1 mug* W: That's sweet H: Sweet They think I'm pee!

What do the LGBT community and computers have in common?

Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Which dance will a chicken not do ?

The foxtrot !

Why did the chicken get himself run over by a car?

To get to the "other side".

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What color is the sun?

ampnbsp Yellow.

Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water?

Because these colors don't run.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What do you get hanging from orange trees?

Sore arms.

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you separate the men from the boys in Sparta?

With a crowbar.

Where's your bin?

A man sees that his neigjhbnour doesn't have his wheeled trash bin. "Hey bub, where's ya bin" "I took a little vacation for a few weeks," "No. I meant where's your bin?" "Told ya, vacation, at the beach!" "No man. Where's ya wheely bin?" "Ok, fine! I've wheely been to jail! Happy now?"

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What did the dyslexic traveller say when he arrived at an unknown station?

Whoops, wrong sub.

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

Bacteria Jokes More Bacteria Jokes

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.