Rio Olympics Jokes

What is the name of one of the Chinese gymnasts competing at the Rio Olympics?

Wai Tu Yung

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Why was Aladdin disqualified from the Rio Olympics?

He was on performance-enhancing rugs.

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Ste Jokes More Ste Jokes

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?

He stung her into action.

What happens if an Asian gets stung by a bee?

Their GPA drops

Rio De Janeiro Jokes More Rio De Janeiro Jokes

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

What do you call an unambiguous body of water?

The Specific Ocean

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

How did the man get stuck at the Russian airport?

He got snowden.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who would win a fight between an octopus and a shark?

The octopus because it is well armed.

What's the difference between a football match and a referendum?

In a football match, the best team wins.

Grouch Jokes More Grouch Jokes

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

Olympic Jokes More Olympic Jokes

Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the olympics?

Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA.

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

Enhance Jokes More Enhance Jokes

Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality?

Breast implants.

What do you call the space between a woman's enhanced breasts?

Ans: Silicon Valley.