Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Bakery Jokes More Bakery Jokes

What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?

A yeaster bunny!

Why did Siegfried and Roy close their bakery?

A batch of Tiger bread turned on them.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ?

She has a big "W" embroidered on her pyjamas !

What is it called when 5 girls get into bed with one guy?

A "no one will ever believe me".

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because in America, freedom rings.

What's the biggest city in the United States?

Obesity

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did u shoot your wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot your wife instead of shootingher lover? Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

View Jokes More View Jokes

What do you call an affectionate island?

Isle of view

What do Jedi use to view PDF files?

Adobe-Wan Kenobi

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Artist Jokes More Artist Jokes

How did the artist paint a picture?

A: Easel-y.

What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.