Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

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What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Why is all the racism in America downstairs?

That's where we keep them chained up.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

Bakery Jokes More Bakery Jokes

Why did Kanye blow up the bakery?

Because no one man should have all that flour.

What did the cannibal order at the bakery?

Cinnamon buns.

View Jokes More View Jokes

What are my views on lesbian relationships ?

I view it in HD.

How did King George view the colonists?

He thought they were revolting

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

What is it called when you sleep talk about your subconscious feelings ?

A Freudian Sleep.

Length Jokes More Length Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

United States Jokes More United States Jokes

What's one advantage of electing a woman president of the United States?

We wouldn't have to pay her as much.

How long does a United States Congressman serve?

ANSWER: Until he gets caught.