Shorten Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

Why did the artist go to the bakery?

For shortening!

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

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Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

Why couldn't they show the orchestra concert on TV?

There was too much sax and violins.

What do you say when you see your TV floating in the middle of the night?

Drop it Ni**a (sorry for the offensive word)

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon. :P

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

Bakery Jokes More Bakery Jokes

What do you call a bakery owned by a redhead?

A Ginger Bread-House

What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?

A yeaster bunny!

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

View Jokes More View Jokes

How does a man see things from woman's point of view?

By looking out the kitchen window.

What are my views on lesbian relationships ?

I view it in HD.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

Because he is lying.

What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

Hem Jokes More Hem Jokes

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Artist Jokes More Artist Jokes

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

What do you call a artist with a rash?

Leonardo Da Itchy