Signal Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

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What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal?

He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal Why won't you just text him

Which among them goes completely ignored?

The turn signals.

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Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

Ignore Jokes More Ignore Jokes

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

What do you call a 2 legged dog who always ignore your calls?

Your ex!

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

Why did the train get hit by lighting?

Because of the conductor.

Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do pterodactyls use the bathroom so quietly?

Because their p is quiet.

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Lap Jokes More Lap Jokes

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Germans do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

One. We're efficient not funny!

Why did David Schwimmer need ear drops?

He had Schwimmer's ear.

Remodel Jokes More Remodel Jokes

What do you call it when a signal processing firm quickly remodels their entryway?

A fast foyer transform!

What do you call it when a Catholic remodels his kitchen?

A counter reformation.

Rent Jokes More Rent Jokes

What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them?

The lanlord!

Why don't black people pay rent?

Because jail is free.