Silk Jokes

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Whatever happened to silk underwear?

A: Fell through the cracks.

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Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

When should you charge a battery?

A: When you can't pay cash.

Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

Plastic Jokes More Plastic Jokes

What's the difference between a round piece of plastic and a babies head?

I don't use a round piece of plastic as a shift knob.

What do you call a humpless camel covered in plastic?

Llamanated

Rustle Jokes More Rustle Jokes

What do you call a bird that has been molested?

Rustled Crow

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the over amorous clam?

It pulled a mussel.

What Happens When You Put 1 Dollar On A Barbeque?

Dolla Grills, Yo

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie?

He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

Sametime next month? I heard this jome a while back. Sorry if its a repost

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why do trees shed their leaves in fall?

Because they've had their chloro-fill.

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

None, he fell.