Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

Why couldn't the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

Because people are offended by seeing Boo Bees.

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Fiction Jokes More Fiction Jokes

What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle?

Fiction.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did my wife say to me?

I want a divorce

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

Distract Jokes More Distract Jokes

What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality

Why doctor?

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."

Marxman Jokes More Marxman Jokes

What do you call a communist sniper?

A Marxman!

What do you call a communnist sniper?

A Marxman

Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

Why does a redneck find his cousin more attractive than a stranger?

Because it's all relative.

Scottsman Jokes More Scottsman Jokes

What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle?

Fiction.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" A Scottsman says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"