Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

Why did Ibuprofen miss his friends?

Because Paracetamol on fire.

Sniper Rifle Jokes More Sniper Rifle Jokes

What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle?

Fiction.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a sniper rifle and a car?

A !

Hoot Jokes More Hoot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why do people hit things (ex. TV, computer, etc.) when they don't work?

Well, it worked with the slaves.

Why did Chris Brown stop having long-term relationships?

He wanted 2 hit singles

Scottsman Jokes More Scottsman Jokes

What do you call a Scottsman with a sniper rifle?

Fiction.

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman?

The Rolling Stones say "Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!" And a Scottsman says "Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Why do humans mainly use the decimal number system?

It's just what we tend to do

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What is large and grey and shoots tourists in Africa?

An elefanatic, of course.

Why does the zoo only have dogs?

Because they shot the gorilla

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a