Sniper Jokes

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

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How do snipers communicate online?

FaZebook.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

Whore that was shot by a sniper?

360 hoscope

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why can't you get drunk with a sniper?

Because they are usually done after one or two shots.

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Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

What do mathematicians do when they are constipated?

They get a pencil and work it out.

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Cousin Jokes More Cousin Jokes

How many hillbillies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2. A man, his wife, and his cousin

What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck?

Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did Blitzkrieg work so well in France?

Because lightning always follows the path of least resistance

Why did the tricycle stop working?

Because it was two tired...

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why do they name all hurricanes after women?

Because when they arrive they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car

Where do pigs park their cars?

In porking lots.

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

What has blonde hair, blue eyes and tends to ailed animals?

A VeterinArian.

What did the botanist say to the plant he was tired of tending to?

Grow away.

Hoot Jokes More Hoot Jokes

What happened when the owl lost his voice ?

He didn't give a hoot !

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day?

St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish.

Iraqi Child Jokes More Iraqi Child Jokes

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

What's The Difference Between Larry Hogan And An Iraqi Child?

Larry Hogan gets back from the hospital.