Sh Jokes

What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

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What happened to the guy who replaced his laxatives with Prozac?

He didn't give a sh...

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

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Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave.

What is 90-60-90?

Speed while driving past a speed camera.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ?

Pupil : It's stolen !

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus like M&amp?

Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles.

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What do you call an egg from outer space?

An unidentified flying omelet!

How do you swat one hundred flies at the same time?

Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Hoot Jokes More Hoot Jokes

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why were the breakfast potatoes running around hitting each other?

HashTag!

What does Lenin say when he his angry?

I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx.