Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Why is Islam called the religion of peace?

After you leave the religion, you rest in peace.

What is the opposite of peace?

is the question.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

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What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

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Rust Jokes More Rust Jokes

Why do mexicans dislike rust?

Because it is feo

Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not with c?

Because you can't see in the dark Badambum!

Why did reddit's admins go back to school?

because they can't spell "read it".

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths?

Because in Japan they're rocksmiths.

How many Chinese people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, while the rest were kung fu fighting

Religion Jokes More Religion Jokes

What is the world's leading cause of hearing loss?

Religion.

What's the difference between a religion and a cult?

A religion drinks wine and a cult drinks Kool-Aid.

Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

How do you ruin a good joke?

By posting it over and over on the same subreddit

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time? Urine-nation!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why did the hipster otter leave his hometown river?

It was too mainstream :)

Why does Edward never leave Russia?

He's always Snowden.

Stamp Jokes More Stamp Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet ?

To stamp out forest fires !

What is the difference between a baby and a stamp?

I don't have a stamp collection.