Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Why is Islam called the religion of peace?

After you leave the religion, you rest in peace.

What is the opposite of peace?

is the question.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

Bmw Jokes More Bmw Jokes

What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide. Edit: spelling.

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal?

Peas and hominy

Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Jerusalem Jokes More Jerusalem Jokes

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Stamp Jokes More Stamp Jokes

Why hang Wanted posters in the post office?

We're not crime-fighting crusaders. We're buying stamps.

How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde?

When there's a stamp on it.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

Why doesn't Saran Wrap have any friends?

Because it sticks to itself.

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!